Let me tell you a bit about myself: I'm a 30 year old single woman, I have friends, i have a good job, actually as far as I can remember there's nothing standing in the way of me and thinsg I want to achieve. I wanted to get a good job that includes educating others, giving lectures? standing in-front of hundreds of people ? I did it. I wanted to go to college and then to get my master's degree?- I'm on my way to finishing my masters.
I have always had lots of friends, I always have people around me asking for my advice, I know that teenagers look up to me and that people trust me. I have a great ability to make people laugh, basically , I could be a success story, another 30 year old happy woman.
BUT I'M NOT
I suffer of Trichotillomania, in plain english that means that i pull my hair. not a random hair once a year when I'm bored but ALL MY HEADS HAIR, ALL THE TIME. You might think I'm crazy.. hell!! i think I'm crazy sometimes.. but I'm not!! I suffer from a medical condition, I'm sick and i think It's about time I'll accept that- and if you want to read me- It's about time you'll accept that too... I'M NOT CRAZY- I'M SICK!
Due to my condition I have no men in my life, I don't look pretty enough ( although i have all the "right"body parts if you know what i mean),I'm not attractive, actually i have even got told more than once by a few men that my hair is repulsive....
I have to agree with them.. it is.. and when you are 30 , and with no partenr to share your life with, when you are 30 and dealing with a weird condition no one ( not even therapists) know too much about- you are not happy. You are frustrated, you atre alone, you loose your self esteem every time you look at the mirror, every time you see the look on people's eyes.. Sometimes you feel that no matter how many beautiful clothes you have, how great you do your makeup, how curvy and feminine your body is- you are still an ugly person that will never be happy again.
This person that feels ugly, this person that has no self esteem ( but will never show it), this person that sits in-front of a computer, trying to get all her frustration out, trying to get someone to listen to her, to understand her and to show some sympathy.. this person is ME. It is not who I was supposed to be, but it is who i grew up to be.. This is the person that hides benith the funny, friendly, happy woman other people see. This is plain me and I if you are willing to listen (read, actually) I want to welcome you into my world.
If you are willing to take this ride, I want to start an experiment here, I want to try and be ME. I want to be able to share my real feelings and my real thoughts. If you don't mind, I'd like to be funny when i feel like being funny, but I would also love to cry, to be sad, to let the real me be the one sitting on this laptop. I would like, for the first time in my life TO BE ME
**You will have to excuse my poor english but as you probably have noticed by now- english is not my mother tongue
I have always had lots of friends, I always have people around me asking for my advice, I know that teenagers look up to me and that people trust me. I have a great ability to make people laugh, basically , I could be a success story, another 30 year old happy woman.
BUT I'M NOT
I suffer of Trichotillomania, in plain english that means that i pull my hair. not a random hair once a year when I'm bored but ALL MY HEADS HAIR, ALL THE TIME. You might think I'm crazy.. hell!! i think I'm crazy sometimes.. but I'm not!! I suffer from a medical condition, I'm sick and i think It's about time I'll accept that- and if you want to read me- It's about time you'll accept that too... I'M NOT CRAZY- I'M SICK!
Due to my condition I have no men in my life, I don't look pretty enough ( although i have all the "right"body parts if you know what i mean),I'm not attractive, actually i have even got told more than once by a few men that my hair is repulsive....
I have to agree with them.. it is.. and when you are 30 , and with no partenr to share your life with, when you are 30 and dealing with a weird condition no one ( not even therapists) know too much about- you are not happy. You are frustrated, you atre alone, you loose your self esteem every time you look at the mirror, every time you see the look on people's eyes.. Sometimes you feel that no matter how many beautiful clothes you have, how great you do your makeup, how curvy and feminine your body is- you are still an ugly person that will never be happy again.
This person that feels ugly, this person that has no self esteem ( but will never show it), this person that sits in-front of a computer, trying to get all her frustration out, trying to get someone to listen to her, to understand her and to show some sympathy.. this person is ME. It is not who I was supposed to be, but it is who i grew up to be.. This is the person that hides benith the funny, friendly, happy woman other people see. This is plain me and I if you are willing to listen (read, actually) I want to welcome you into my world.
If you are willing to take this ride, I want to start an experiment here, I want to try and be ME. I want to be able to share my real feelings and my real thoughts. If you don't mind, I'd like to be funny when i feel like being funny, but I would also love to cry, to be sad, to let the real me be the one sitting on this laptop. I would like, for the first time in my life TO BE ME
**You will have to excuse my poor english but as you probably have noticed by now- english is not my mother tongue
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